Category: xbox

Top Ten Things I learned from Fable II

I wrote this list a while ago, back when my Xbox wasn’t dead or across an ocean. But I just found it on my computer and decided to post it after all, and meanwhile reminisce about how much I loved that game.


Top 10 Things I Learned from Fable II

1. I can’t be evil.

Seriously, I can’t. Not even virtually. For those of you who haven’t played Fable, a lot of the game revolves around making choices that effect the outcome of the game. You can choose to be a good hero or a bad one, or somewhere in between. Every time I tried to choose something that would qualify as “evil” or “bad” I would feel guilty. In fact, there was one quest with no “good” outcome, and after being traumatized by it the first time I played, I refused to do it in any subsequent games.

2. Everything you need to know you can learn from books.

If you want to learn a new facial expression, pick up a book! If you want to teach your old dog new tricks? That’s in a book too! As an academic, I definitely agree with this philosophy. Even though I’m fairly certain that the seduction techniques that you might learn from a book would probably not have the the desired effect.

3. If people like you, you get free shit.

That is, after all, how the world works, right?

4. Scars are bad, until you’re a hero.

In Fable II, you can’t really “die.” You simply get knocked out and wake up with a few more scars. By the end of my first time playing through, I was covered in scars. Every time I would go into a village people would say how ugly I was. Until I saved the world. Then they all immediately fell in love with me. Go figure.

5. People will inevitably walk too slowly in front of you.

Just like in real life, the computer controlled characters in this game walk really slowly in front of you. Right after telling you to follow them. Very frustrating.

6. It’s hard to get through childhood.

When I first started playing Fable II, my Xbox wasn’t working. It was nearly impossible for me to get through the first part, childhood. Once I got through it (saving every two minutes) I was fine for the rest of the game. I guess it really is hard to grow up!

7. The Chicken Dance is hilarious.


8. My spacial sense is horrible.

When I was playing online with Fae, I would continuously get stuck in corners and have to restart, because I couldn’t get out. The first time I played, I bought a house… and then I couldn’t find it anymore. Because I simply couldn’t navigate my way around a virtual town. It was just too much for me.

9. Blond haired people are good, brunettes are neutral and god forbid you should have black hair!

If you play online, the second person because your sidekick and they’re asked to pick from a few different character designs. The “Good Female” is blond, of course. “Neutral Female” is a brunette, and the black haired chick is super scary looking.  The same thing happens with your character… your hair gets lighter or darker based on your choices. Your dog changes colour too. Very strange.

10. I actually do want a dog.

I never did, before. I’ve always been a cat person. But the dog in Fable II is so adorable! And when you upgrade you can get a husky! I paid real money for that husky…


Welcome back

I finally finished my summer job yesterday. I have tried to refrain from complaining much about it on here, because a) people who know me in person are REALLY tired of hearing about it, I’m sure b) I don’t really think it’s appropriate to publish something that only tells one side of the story in a complaint against an institution that I’m employed at and c) I really still love the museum and a lot of the people there, it was just this particular job that ended up being quite ridiculous.

Anyways. My point is that I am now FREE. My job distracted me from posting (or doing much of anything with my life) but now my blog-cation has officially ended, pets, and I’m going to try my best to go back to posting everyday or at least almost everyday. I certainly have enough inspiration now, as I’m leaving in 11 days.

In other news, my Xbox is now a $150 piece of useless plastic which I will NOT be bringing with me to England. I give up. The world does not want me to play Fable.

Eternally chicken dancing…

I’ll probably get around to posting again later today, but for now…. What I did last night:


And yes, that means I got my Xbox to work. Would you believe that it was mostly because it didn’t want to run the game off the harddrive? Anyway. Don’t remind it it red ringed, we’re ignoring that now.

The epic of my Xbox, continued

I haven’t played my Xbox since I got through Fable II, a couple of weeks ago. It’s just been sitting happily on my TV. I watched a DVD on it a couple of times.

Today I was talking to my wife, Alaina (not actually my wife… but we call each other that and Facebook says it’s true) about how she’d just started playing some games on her brother’s Xbox. I said that I’d bought one this summer, and described my various trials and tribulations. But, I said, “It’s okay. It freezes a lot still, but I just have to save a lot.”

We discussed playing together someday soon.

Tonight I had a date with Fae, and we decided that we would finally play Fable II together. The times we had tried before were when we discovered that I needed to send it back.

So I turn on my Xbox, register for another month of Xbox Live, stick in the CD and join Fae’s party. To my surprise, I can suddenly hear her talking to me! I start a new game.

I was singing the Fable song, delightfully off key.

“You’re starting new as a kid? Right?” Fae asks. I don’t respond. “Right? *silence* Heather…? *Hez has left your party*”

With a weird little pop, I was disconnected. Hmm. I restart.

As soon as Fae gets close to me in the game, I disconnect. Restart. Press the power button…

And the ring turns red and starts flashing. Red ring of death.

I panic. I’ve heard all about this. Not good! Turn off. Unplug. Replug. Try again.

And it boots fine. Phew.

I enter the game again. This time I’m greeted by lovely grey bars instead of graphics. Awesome.


And every time I’ve turned it on since then, it’s red ringed. I know it’s hot in here, our AC isn’t on. But come on.


I have attempted the Towel Trick, it didn’t work the first time, but I’ll try it again. Pray for me. I have the worst Xbox luck of all time.