Category: luck

The epic of my Xbox, continued

I haven’t played my Xbox since I got through Fable II, a couple of weeks ago. It’s just been sitting happily on my TV. I watched a DVD on it a couple of times.

Today I was talking to my wife, Alaina (not actually my wife… but we call each other that and Facebook says it’s true) about how she’d just started playing some games on her brother’s Xbox. I said that I’d bought one this summer, and described my various trials and tribulations. But, I said, “It’s okay. It freezes a lot still, but I just have to save a lot.”

We discussed playing together someday soon.

Tonight I had a date with Fae, and we decided that we would finally play Fable II together. The times we had tried before were when we discovered that I needed to send it back.

So I turn on my Xbox, register for another month of Xbox Live, stick in the CD and join Fae’s party. To my surprise, I can suddenly hear her talking to me! I start a new game.

I was singing the Fable song, delightfully off key.

“You’re starting new as a kid? Right?” Fae asks. I don’t respond. “Right? *silence* Heather…? *Hez has left your party*”

With a weird little pop, I was disconnected. Hmm. I restart.

As soon as Fae gets close to me in the game, I disconnect. Restart. Press the power button…

And the ring turns red and starts flashing. Red ring of death.

I panic. I’ve heard all about this. Not good! Turn off. Unplug. Replug. Try again.

And it boots fine. Phew.

I enter the game again. This time I’m greeted by lovely grey bars instead of graphics. Awesome.

Restart.

And every time I’ve turned it on since then, it’s red ringed. I know it’s hot in here, our AC isn’t on. But come on.

red

I have attempted the Towel Trick, it didn’t work the first time, but I’ll try it again. Pray for me. I have the worst Xbox luck of all time.

categories fail, luck, xbox | Hezabelle July 7, 2009 | comments Comments (6)

Come September

Do you ever want something so badly that you’re sure the world is going to try to take it away from you?

I am not a “lucky” person. This is not to say that I’m not incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful family, great friends and all of the opportunities that go along with a middle class upbringing and my health.

But if we’re talking a roll of the dice, win the lottery, pull your name out of a hat kind of lucky - I’m not it. I envy people who have those charmed lives. We all know them, just when everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse, something comes along and saves them. They seem to somehow be given chances the rest of us don’t have.

I learned a long time ago that I have to fight for everything I want in life. I learned a long time ago not to place my happiness in other people hands.

Which is why, last month, when I was making a pro/con list for grad schools and looking up cars to buy for another summer working at Pinhey’s, I couldn’t imagine a time where things fit together so perfectly before. I couldn’t remember being that thrilled about my future.

And this is where the post gets depressing…

I try to be an optimistic person. After years of emotional pessimism in high school, I surrendered to the fact that at heart I’m a daydream believer. So over the last four years I’ve embraced that side of myself as much as possible.

But I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that something was going to go wrong.

First, I had a meeting with my boss and found out that I wasn’t going to be able to go back to Pinhey’s this summer. I’m conflicted about this, because the job I did get is still with the museums, but it’s the Tea Coordinator job at Billings. And to truly understand why it upsets me, you have to understand how much I love Pinhey’s. From the first day of my job last summer, I felt like a part of me belonged there. I loved every second of my job last summer. I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend a summer, on the water in a house that was built in the early 19th century. In costume. So it’s not that I’m unhappy with the job at Billings, so much as I know I’m really going to miss Pinhey’s.

Secondly, I failed. Which I’ve written about already.

And now, the financial implications of moving to England and paying overseas tuition are catching up to me. I think I live in a little bit of a bubble, and don’t fully understand what money means sometimes. I do now. The bank rejected my first application for a student line of credit this week, and now I have to look into other options.

I am a strong person. I have all the ability in the world to do things for myself. But this… I can’t deal with. It’s just too big. When I think about it my heart hurts and it’s hard to breath.

I have gone through four years of arguably the most demanding journalism program in the country. I have hated nearly every minute of it. I have worked myself raw to get where I am and it was all leading up to this. To grad school. I may not have known it all along, but as soon as I made the decision I had that awed feeling of the pieces fitting together. This is what I wanted to do. More than anything. It was my future. I didn’t need to know what came after, I just needed to know that that’s where I was going to be in September.

But now, with all of these obstacles in my way, is it? Am I going to lose this?

categories life, luck, school, work | Hezabelle April 11, 2009 | comments Comments (4)