Weddings

I’ve sort of become part of a wedding culture in the last few months.

Last year I didn’t know anyone (in my peer group) who was married or getting married. Now I know 8 people who are engaged and getting married in the next two years.

I can now sustain a very long conversation about wedding plans, guests, venues, food, invitations and engagement rings.

And it’s seriously fun.

In the spring, Quonya and Doug who I met in Newcastle are getting married in Edinburgh. This summer my friend Annie from high school is getting married in Ottawa. My old roommate Taylor’s wedding is in July, and both Kristen and The Chris are bridesmaids.

And in October of 2012, Chandra is getting married and I’m a bridesmaid. Seriously, I couldn’t be more excited. It’s like a big party that you spend two years planning! And I get to help! I get to make invitations and help pick a photographer and watch Chandra try on beautiful dresses! And then I get to wear a beautiful dress too, and sit at the important wedding table! I feel like such a grown up!

I’m in no hurry at all to plan a wedding of my own, but I’m really happy that close friends of mine are getting married soon and I get to experience it all. And then I’ll have lots of ideas in five years when I might start thinking about doing it myself. Maybe.

For now I’m just excited for all my friends. And the parties.

Generosity

I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of people lately.

I haven’t had much money since September, and I’ve had absolutely none since New Year’s. It really limits what I can do. I want to be able to go out, but everything always costs money and it gets really stressful sometimes.

I can’t even count the number of times in the last 6 months that one of my friends has bought me a drink. Or dinner. Or concert tickets. A coffee. Anything. It amazes me that people are always looking out for me. It amazes me that they want to spend time with me so much that they’ll pay my share.

Though there are many things I want and need when I finally get a job and have an income, my priority is to slowly start paying my friends back for their generosity. As much as I can.

Maybe all people aren’t good, but my friends sure are.

<3

Predictive text in the T9 on my cell phone seems to tell a lot about my life. When I hit 1 twice, it writes either a happy or a sad face, depending on which I’ve used more recently.

This week, it’s been predicting a <3.

My best friend, Fae, was in a pretty bad car accident on Sunday night with her boyfriend, and they both had to have major surgery. She’s been in the hospital since.

Being a heartbreaking 862 kilometers away means that all I can do is text her and keep telling her how much I love her. Words are not enough. I feel helpless and useless. She’s miserable and in pain in a hospital bed in Pittsburgh and all I can text her is <3.

Last night, I kept my cell phone clutched in my hand all night so that when she woke up in the hospital, alone and unable to sleep, I could text her back. This morning she was moved to the ICU because they think she might have clots in her lungs and need to do xrays.

I need my girl to be all right.

<3

New Name

So, I fell behind on Reverb10, and I honestly don’t have much intention of catching up on most of them, but this one caught my eye:

December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

I’m not going to address the prompt, per se, but the subject of having a new name. I love having so many different things people call me by, be it nicknames or endearments. My mom’s always called me Bunny, I’m known as Hez to lots of people and Hezza or Dud to a few. I’m even “wife” to someone, though our marriage is only Facebook official.

This year I got a new nickname: Heather Mae.

Heather Mae is my honorary Southern name. I met a lot of Southern Americans this year (well, more than I’d met before and more than I expected to meet in England!), but this name was bestowed on me by my hilarious friend Alycia.

Alycia Jo (not actually her name, but her Southern name as well) is from Georgia. When she and I are together, we’re sort of like a whirlwind. We never stop talking and laughing. I have so much fun with her. We spent a lot of time together in the second semester, because we were taking all the same classes. We spent even more time together in August, ranting about our dissertations and going out to dinner to make sure we fed ourselves at least once a day.

One particular weekend we did a high ropes course in the Lake District, with our friends J Lo and Becky Sue (also her Southern name… J Lo can’t have a Southern name because she’s Jenny from the Block). We also spent the entire night watching Disney movies. In my mind, that night sums up my friendship with Alycia. We laughed so hard it hurt and it was the best break I could imagine from writing a dissertation.

When I went back to Newcastle for my graduation, I spent most of my week with Alycia and her mom. They were nice enough to let me sleep on their floor for the duration, and it was so great to see Alycia again. It was like we’d never left, I think our conversation pretty much picked off where August 26th had left off.

When I think of Alycia, I think of laughter and having fun and taking silly pictures. Also, of Mulan. Because even though she won’t do it in front of people anymore, we do a great duet to I’ll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan.

Alycia gave me one of my favourite Christmas presents this year:

Friendship

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I’m going to start sounding like a broken record here. My friends are pretty amazing, and all for different reasons.

I don’t like people much in general, so the ones I eventually choose as friends tend to be quite awesome.

It’s a hard question because all of my friends have changed me and are constantly changing me. But since this is supposed to be about this year specifically, I’m going to dedicate it to one of my newest friends.

I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us must to grow, if we let them and we help them in return.

Chandra is the most optimistic, enthusiastic person I’ve ever met. Her love of life is contagious, and it was exactly what I needed this year to learn how to love life myself.

She taught me so many things: to bounce, to run, to eat dessert. Her infallible belief in me, her constant belief that I was a great person, let me believe in myself for the first time in a long time.

I believe that we meet people in our lives at the time that we need them most. And I needed Chandra this year, so that I could see everything as a good story. Every misadventure as an adventure.

Chandra and I made a pact to spend our year seeing new things and new places. We used to go somewhere new every weekend, whether it was somewhere nearby or a whole new city. Because of this we saw so much and learned so much, together. She was my partner in crime and we were, quite literally, joined at the head for the year.

I love Chandra most for her hugs and smiles and her ability to turn almost anything into a positive. I love her for giving life to the optimist in me.

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.