When it comes to goodbye, I think I like the French “au revoir” better. In direct translation, it means “until I see you again.” I love the idea that the French have a word for seeing someone again. Reseeing. I wish we had it in English. Reunion doesn’t quite cut it.
I get tired of saying goodbyes. Why is that you have to say goodbye to one set of people in order to be back with another? Why is it that you have to leave one home to return to another? Why must there always be that trade off - losing something to gain something else?
I think it’s not about the places you go, but the people you meet.
This year has undeniably changed me for the better. But it wasn’t the place so much as the people. Places are only the backdrop for experiences, and experiences are largely dependent on the characters.
I know that distance is a relative thing, and I know that friendship can survive distance. But it’s hard when things change. When you go from seeing someone nearly everyday to maybe once a year. It was hard when I came here, and now it will be hard when I return to Canada. The more places I go, the more homes I have… the more people I have to leave behind.
So I’ll settle with an au revoir to Newcastle and my Newcastle cast of characters, because goodbye is too final and too sad.
I like to make lists.
I often talk about my list of 100 Things to do before I die. I’ve done 29 of them already. It will be 30 by next week. Someone asked me what I was going to do when I finished the whole list. Easy. I’ll write another.
I recently read a post on my friend Courtney’s Tumblr, of an idea she had had and shared with some of her students. I’m not surprised, Court is the person who originally inspired my love of lists. We used to make “10 things to do this year” lists in high school.
But Court’s list is different. This is a non-negotiable list. I suggest you click on the link above to read her reasoning behind it and what she hoped to teach her students. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now. This is mine:
I want to be a mother. I want to have a job that I love at least 60% of the time and which challenges me. I never want to stop seeing the world. I want to have cats, always. I want to save money to pay for my children’s post-secondary education. I want to read all the time and instill a love of reading in children - not only mine but all children. I want to volunteer, even when I’m really busy, for causes that I believe in. I want to be the one who has great dinner parties, and I want to be the one who hosts family holidays. I want to write a book - even if no one but me ever reads it. I want to always make time for my best friends. I want to always be close to my sister. I will not change my last name. I want a true partner in my life, with their own interests and hobbies, who challenges me intellectually. I never want to stop learning new things. Everything else is negotiable.
I watch the sunrise from the window seat of a Greyhound bus and drink lukewarm coffee at the rest stop. Someone else tells my life story in my headphones while the rest of the passengers sleep. We drive into a city of wind tunnels created by skyscrapers, dodgy end first. Slowly the people around me start to stir and out the window the city becomes what I know.
From the 23rd floor you can see everything but still hear the noise of the streets below. You can see Dundas Square. You can see the water. I eat grilled cheese and soup for lunch and my oldest friend does my hair and I feel like I fit. She has never had a life that I couldn’t picture, and so I needed to see this so I could place her in my mind when we’re talking on Skype from different continents.
We have dinner, eat too much and come back to talk about old times and how we hope that bitchy girl from high school got fat. We look through old photos of times when we thought each day was the most important ever and used adverbs as punctuation.
On her computer, a clock is set to GMT and I smile because I have friends who know what time it is where I am, wherever that is.
On the subject of couch surfing in London:
Steph: i like free things…
Heather: me too
Heather: But I don’t really like strangers
Steph: but you might make a new friend?
Steph: fall in love
Heather: hahaha
Steph: marry, have a baby
Steph: and all that for free
Steph: see its not just a couch to sleep on
Steph: its a whole life!
Heather: You’re hilarious.
Heather: Babies aren’t free!
Steph: well the man you could have them with might be
Steph: and you just might meet him couch surfing.
If I had my way, every person I know would have a blog, so I can find out what they’re thinking about at all times. And so I have something important to do while wandering through the internet.
I met Ali the same way I met Fae, online through geeky RPG groups. I’ve known her just as long, though I don’t know her anywhere near as well as I’d like to. That’s why when I clicked on the link to her blog last night, I was so excited to catch up on her life.
What I found both surprised and inspired me. I always knew Ali was brilliant, but her blog surpassed my expectations. It’s a personal blog, but it talks a lot of Ali’s recent self diagnosis with Asperger’s and her thoughts on autism and the autistic community. It’s thoughtful and so damned smart that it made me feel very inferior.
So I thought I’d feature it on my Weblink Wednesday in hopes that you all check it out too!
Alternate Lexicon
french, friendship, life, newcastle | Hezabelle August 26, 2010 | 
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