Category: fae

Top Ten Things I learned from Fable II

I wrote this list a while ago, back when my Xbox wasn’t dead or across an ocean. But I just found it on my computer and decided to post it after all, and meanwhile reminisce about how much I loved that game.

fable2boxmain

Top 10 Things I Learned from Fable II

1. I can’t be evil.

Seriously, I can’t. Not even virtually. For those of you who haven’t played Fable, a lot of the game revolves around making choices that effect the outcome of the game. You can choose to be a good hero or a bad one, or somewhere in between. Every time I tried to choose something that would qualify as “evil” or “bad” I would feel guilty. In fact, there was one quest with no “good” outcome, and after being traumatized by it the first time I played, I refused to do it in any subsequent games.

2. Everything you need to know you can learn from books.

If you want to learn a new facial expression, pick up a book! If you want to teach your old dog new tricks? That’s in a book too! As an academic, I definitely agree with this philosophy. Even though I’m fairly certain that the seduction techniques that you might learn from a book would probably not have the the desired effect.

3. If people like you, you get free shit.

That is, after all, how the world works, right?

4. Scars are bad, until you’re a hero.

In Fable II, you can’t really “die.” You simply get knocked out and wake up with a few more scars. By the end of my first time playing through, I was covered in scars. Every time I would go into a village people would say how ugly I was. Until I saved the world. Then they all immediately fell in love with me. Go figure.

5. People will inevitably walk too slowly in front of you.

Just like in real life, the computer controlled characters in this game walk really slowly in front of you. Right after telling you to follow them. Very frustrating.

6. It’s hard to get through childhood.

When I first started playing Fable II, my Xbox wasn’t working. It was nearly impossible for me to get through the first part, childhood. Once I got through it (saving every two minutes) I was fine for the rest of the game. I guess it really is hard to grow up!

7. The Chicken Dance is hilarious.

Clearly.

8. My spacial sense is horrible.

When I was playing online with Fae, I would continuously get stuck in corners and have to restart, because I couldn’t get out. The first time I played, I bought a house… and then I couldn’t find it anymore. Because I simply couldn’t navigate my way around a virtual town. It was just too much for me.

9. Blond haired people are good, brunettes are neutral and god forbid you should have black hair!

If you play online, the second person because your sidekick and they’re asked to pick from a few different character designs. The “Good Female” is blond, of course. “Neutral Female” is a brunette, and the black haired chick is super scary looking.  The same thing happens with your character… your hair gets lighter or darker based on your choices. Your dog changes colour too. Very strange.

10. I actually do want a dog.

I never did, before. I’ve always been a cat person. But the dog in Fable II is so adorable! And when you upgrade you can get a husky! I paid real money for that husky…

husky

Oh papaya

Papaya, don’t peach.
I made up my rind, I’m keeping my baby spinach.
Papaya, can you pear me? Papaya, can you peel me?
Papaya, peas forgive me, I still lychee you best.

papaya

For more Grocery Line poems by me and Fae, visit my post about them or hers.

Eternally chicken dancing…

I’ll probably get around to posting again later today, but for now…. What I did last night:

http://konfusedfae.blogspot.com/2009/07/chicken-dancing.html

chicken

And yes, that means I got my Xbox to work. Would you believe that it was mostly because it didn’t want to run the game off the harddrive? Anyway. Don’t remind it it red ringed, we’re ignoring that now.

Oh Crumb

Fae: There’s a lot of crumbs on this futon.
Hez: I crumbed in my sleep last night.

Later…

Fae: I was giving you a thumbs up but couldn’t see if you were thumbing me back.
Hez: If I was thumbing you, you’d be crumbing.

Thus ensued many crumb jokes for hours… We were crumbing everywhere.

Hez: And then we would cum—- *both pause*
Both: Ew…. That’s dirty.

This post was made possible by Fae, because I didn’t remember how it started and she’d written it down.

Sell a sunrise

I know I may have disappointed any regular readers (I like to imagine these exist…) by not posting yesterday. But I was too busy spending my last day in Pittsburgh with my Faebala. I promise I will make up for it with my attempt at video content next week. Not this week, because I am secluding myself in order to not fail my exam (again) on Monday. That and I’m starting work tomorrow and will be up to my elbows in scones and egg salad (neither of which go well on my laptop) until the big Mother’s Day Tea on Sunday.

Today could be a different day
If the sky lifts up the haze
Off of my front lawn
Just another time I hold my tears
For another year
On my way back home
Can I sell this sunrise
In return for a sunset?
Can I just be here one more day
Until my sunburn fades away?
-Left Coast Envy by The Starting Line

It started raining as I lifted my suitcase into the trunk. In the six years we’ve been seeing each other, it always rains the day we leave. A pathetic fallacy that both amuses and saddens us. Over the years I’ve watched her drive away, fly away, disappear behind doors and barricades, into buses and trains.

This morning we hugged goodbye. We giggled and joked, and when I put my arms around her I couldn’t help but wonder when the next time I see her will be. We’ve dreamed so long of being closer together but we only seem to be getting further away. I’ve always taken comfort in the fact that if something happened… if she needed me or I needed her, I could get in the car and just drive. I could be there in less than a day. In September we’ll be separated by oceans and time zones and even more hundreds of miles.

It’s not that we don’t know how to do distance. That has always been a part of our friendship. We text message, email and instant message like the best of them (but we both hate phones).

It’s that every time I see her I stay just long enough to realize what it would be like to live near my best friend. It’s the small things. It’s making lunch together and watching bad Lifetime movies. It’s going for coffee and trying on clothes. It’s watching our favourite movies together. It’s meeting each others friends. It’s getting to know each others’ boyfriends. It’s all of those little things that break my heart because we only get to do them for a few weeks every year.

It’s all of those little things that make me realize that when I drive away I’m leaving a piece of myself behind me. My other half.

Amin mela lle, vanima Fae.