Working at a day job

Anyone who has read this blog for a while and/or knows me personally knows that I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to Going Somewhere, Doing Something and Having a Plan.

None of which I have right now.

But you know what? I’m having fun. More fun than I’ve had in a long time, working at a relatively easy (though occasionally crazy job) that is NOT my career, but hanging out with fun people and generally messing around a bit.

Because I needed a break from Real Life. At least a bit.

Somedays, I get caught up in the anxiety again and I have to stop and remind myself that I’m still Going Somewhere… I’m just taking a little rest stop on the way. Which is a bit hard, since I’m not the rest stop kind of person and I often drive eight hours straight without even stopping to pee.

But being that kind of person is tiring. And I’m learning a lot about myself right now, in this in between time.

And I’m working at a day job while I decide what I really want to do…

And when that isn’t enough, I turn, as always, to a song to comfort me. This time it’s Kate Miller Heidke, who generally inspired my embracing life when I was in England, and who’s song Apartment is pretty much my mantra at the moment.

I’m living for the present
I’m living day to day
And I don’t have a trust fund
Don’t feel the need to superannuate

It’s almost summer, and I’m determined to enjoy what I can of this summer - live day to day and stop worrying so much about Where I’m Going.

The capitalized words can wait until September or thereabouts.

4 Comments

  • By Faebala, April 25, 2011 @ 12:13 pm

    Like.

  • By Wangari M., April 26, 2011 @ 3:49 am

    Glad you’re taking time to figure out what you want to do, and are actually enjoying it! I have been at my rest stop for a little too long but I’m glad I took the time to relax and figure things out. I now finally have a semblence of a plan :)

  • By Sebastian, May 12, 2011 @ 5:59 pm

    Do you flounder a little, Faebala, when there’s no easily-clickable button to register your appreciation/interest? :P

    I’m glad you’re having fun, Hez! You should tell us more details about the kind of fun you get up to.

    I had a lot of fun for many years, with nary a sign of that ol’ ‘career’ thing. I seem to have stumbled into one now, though… and I’m still having fun… so I guess I’ve been a bit lucky :)

  • By Eleni, May 17, 2011 @ 7:47 pm

    I can totally relate. I’ve been agonizing over whether I want to stick with my PhD program or just get a master’s degree and run. Classes have been going great, but the research has been lousy. I was recently in a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and found myself feeling a little jealous of the people who work there. Not only do they get to learn how to make delicious drinks, but they work in a pleasant environment for fixed hours, then get to go home and not worry about what they need to be planning for the next day, or what they’re behind on at work, etc. I’m sure they’re not paid much, but then neither are grad students!

    Anyway, a pleasant day job seems like a perfect place to work for a while as you learn about yourself and figure out Where You’re Going. Good for you.

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