Working at a day job

Anyone who has read this blog for a while and/or knows me personally knows that I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to Going Somewhere, Doing Something and Having a Plan.

None of which I have right now.

But you know what? I’m having fun. More fun than I’ve had in a long time, working at a relatively easy (though occasionally crazy job) that is NOT my career, but hanging out with fun people and generally messing around a bit.

Because I needed a break from Real Life. At least a bit.

Somedays, I get caught up in the anxiety again and I have to stop and remind myself that I’m still Going Somewhere… I’m just taking a little rest stop on the way. Which is a bit hard, since I’m not the rest stop kind of person and I often drive eight hours straight without even stopping to pee.

But being that kind of person is tiring. And I’m learning a lot about myself right now, in this in between time.

And I’m working at a day job while I decide what I really want to do…

And when that isn’t enough, I turn, as always, to a song to comfort me. This time it’s Kate Miller Heidke, who generally inspired my embracing life when I was in England, and who’s song Apartment is pretty much my mantra at the moment.

I’m living for the present
I’m living day to day
And I don’t have a trust fund
Don’t feel the need to superannuate

It’s almost summer, and I’m determined to enjoy what I can of this summer - live day to day and stop worrying so much about Where I’m Going.

The capitalized words can wait until September or thereabouts.

Still here

So, I still exist. It’s just that I got a new job and therefore have a lot less time on my hands. I’ve also become addicted to Dragon Age Origins. As I do when I’m stressed.

I was just talking to Fae about anxiety issues and how hard that makes it to start a new job. That’s my real excuse for not blogging recently. New jobs make me incredibly anxious and I don’t blog when I’m emotionally overwhelmed. Now the job is less overwhelming, but the way things are going it may still lead me to a life of heavy drinking.

In which case, I promise I’ll attempt to blog drunk. Or from AA.

They should hold AA meetings in the hotel where I work.

Anyway. On top of the anxiety of starting a new job, I am having a sort of quarter life crisis. Like, what do I really want to do with my life? Now that I’m making at least some money, where do I go from here?

Same questions, just another day.

I am, however, going to make a conscious effort to get back to my writing. Both here and elsewhere. Not only because I’ve had a couple of people ask me if I’m going to update my blog recently (*cough* Alaina *cough*) but also because I’m happier when I write and I’m in desperate need of some sort of purpose in my life.