Things you can’t change

I’ve been working through this post in my head for exactly 4 days, 13 hours, 59 minutes and 15 seconds.

It’s not about resolutions.

I don’t think I believe in resolutions. At least, I don’t believe in them for me. I already have my list of 100 things to do before I die. Sometimes at the beginning of a year I’ll pick a few of those that I think I can accomplish by the end of the year. When I was in high school and university, I would usually write a little list of about 5 things I wanted to do over the summer. They were always achievable things. The summer I was 14 I taught myself to shuffle. The summer I was 17 I taught myself to French braid my hair. The summer I was 21 I taught myself to sit up straight. But I do horribly with concepts that you can’t measure. Things that I can’t definitively cross off a list. And, honestly, if I make a list that I can’t finish it drives me crazy.

Okay, I lied, it’s about resolutions.

But I don’t have any. Not really. It’s more like I’ve come up with a philosophy.

If you’re reading my blog then you already know that these past four months have been some of the hardest of my life. There are a lot of things outside of my control that I have been working against, to change. And I’ve had a few conversations with Fae and Kaitlyn recently about what type of things I should accept in life and which things I should work to change.

Because life sucks. But I’m stronger than that, right?

There are things in my life that suck. Things that I can’t change. Things that require patience and courage and perseverance.

What I can change is how they effect me. What I can change is how I see my circumstances. What I can change is what I make of my life.

And the true task isn’t being happy when everything’s great, it’s finding a way to be happy when everything isn’t.

I’ve already started to make some changes in my life this year. Little things that I can change. And hopefully I’ll slowly work up to the big things and I’ll spend 2011 learning how to be happy when things aren’t exactly as I might wish them to be.

And this girl? I’ve proof that she still exists.

Me on New Year's Eve, photo by Chandra


  • By Jes, January 5, 2011 @ 3:28 pm

    1) It is not fair that you are gorgeous even in sliiiightly (or not so slightly…) drunk New Years photos
    2) Exactly! See my resolution #9.
    3) When the suck-age of life gets too much to rise above in any sort of classy or adult way, just call one of us. Usually indulging in self pity works waaaay better in the company of others (/wine/chocolate)


  • By Ali, January 5, 2011 @ 4:10 pm

    You know, my love, I came to the same conclusion a couple days ago. Let’s learn to be better and more resilient together.

  • By Faebala, January 5, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

    Love you.

  • By Kit, January 5, 2011 @ 5:03 pm

    love you. And I’d like to join in.

    (also, can YOU teach me to sit up straight if you come to Australia?)

  • By Ali, January 5, 2011 @ 5:04 pm


  • By Hezabelle, January 5, 2011 @ 5:23 pm

    haha Australia as the promised land? Sounds good to me!

    And yes, Kit, I can! But it’s really painful and, in experience, the first few days ended in drinking copious amounts of wine to ease my back pain. I’m sure we could manage that though. ;) hahaha

  • By Chandra, January 5, 2011 @ 10:12 pm

    I have no doubt in my mind that you will achieve your goal! Just remember to take dance breaks…and that’s a SERIOUS reminder!

  • By Eleni, January 5, 2011 @ 11:30 pm

    Wow, that’s such an adorable photo :) Sounds like you have a good attitude. Good luck, I hope things start working out soon.

  • By Ron Newcomb, January 7, 2011 @ 10:24 pm

    That is a *very* adorable photo. You’ll have someone to kiss at midnight next year for sure.

    (This being just a surf-by commenting, I don’t know what life’s thrown at you recently, but I had a dark year here & there as well, and I know what that’s like. But as the truckers say, just keep on keepin’ on.)

  • By Sebastian, January 10, 2011 @ 6:57 am

    “And the true task isn’t being happy when everything’s great, it’s finding a way to be happy when everything isn’t.”

    Is that how you actually feel, or are you just spouting cliche crap? :)

    One big part of being happy/content is to be happy _as yourself_. Many people live the lives that other people expect of them, or conforming to some image that’s pushed upon them from friends/media/etc (peer pressure).

    When you say phrases like that, just make sure they come from within, and that you’re not just trying to fulfil some Hollywoodesque concept of happiness :)

  • By Hezabelle, January 10, 2011 @ 7:05 am

    I’ve no need to fill anyone’s concept of happiness but my own. Though that is arguably influence by several media, my sentiment was not insincere. I don’t think it’s cliché, I think it’s true. You can’t live your life waiting for everything to be perfect so you can be happy.

    Honestly, everything I post here does “come from within” because what’s the use in having a personal blog otherwise?

  • By Sebastian, January 10, 2011 @ 7:20 am

    Yep, true enough — I was just thinking about how thoughts can come from within, but can originate from without. Of course, by the time we actually act on them, or write them down, we obviously think they’re a home-grown, original idea.

    But then again… that’s probably the entire internal mechanic of knowledge being converted into wisdom.

Other Links to this Post

  1. I left a few words alone in the garden « The Alternate Lexicon — January 5, 2011 @ 4:18 pm

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