Excerpt #4

There are definitely two hot Irish men in this book…

Lexi stirred from Dechlan’s bed in the morning light. She made her way to the living room, where she expected to find Deck on the couch. He was missing, a mess of blankets in his place, so Lex continued to the kitchen to put on the coffee. And maybe start breakfast. But, most importantly coffee.

She might not be able to pour a pint, but she could definitely work a coffee marker. Soon the kitchen filled with the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Lexi poured herself a mug and searched the fridge for something she could turn into breakfast. She extracted some eggs, checking the expiry date carefully. They passed the test and she began to make some scrambled eggs.

“Oh, breakfast. Grand,” Dechlan grinned. Lexi turned to greet him, and nearly dropped her fork when she discovered he was only wearing a towel. A small towel. His chiseled abs and shapely arms were dotted with drops of water from his still wet hair.

“Um,” she coloured, “Good morning.” She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him and the small, thin towel that did nothing to dull the thoughts of what lay beneath.
“Morning, lass,” Dechlan grinned at her. She was dressed in one of his shirts, and probably underwear, though he couldn’t quite see them. If she would just raise her arms slightly…
“Clothes…” Lexi said suddenly, incoherently. Deck frowned.
“What?”
“I need clothes,” she said. She looked down at her outfit, then back to him, “Like, my suitcase.” Dechlan laughed.
“I don’t know, I quite like seeing you in my shirt, Lex,” he grinned. Lexi blushed.
“But I can’t wear it out,” she replied.
“No, that wouldn’t do…” Dechlan trailed off, distracted by the allure of her wearing his clothes.
“And my other clothes smell like beer,” she reminded him.
“Ah, right,” Dechlan said, “I’ll drive ya down to Athlone today.”

Action

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

I would like to argue that sometimes no amount of action on your part will preclude having having to wait around for other people to make decisions.

You know, like the 50+ job applications I’ve submitted in the last 3 months.

I can’t make them hire me, I can only keep trying.

The only interesting action I have recently is that I’m officially a Freelance Writer, until further notice. Determined to have some type of job until I get a real one.

Body integration

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

With rasping breath I sang out a few bars from the theme to Chariots of Fire. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, my legs struggled to keep moving, one step at a time. I could see my doorstep in the distance, as my muscles screamed out in protest. Finally, we arrived at my doorstep. I nearly collapsed on the step but not before giving Chandra a high five.

It was my first 5k, and I made it through. My body was complaining but I was hyped, full of adrenaline and a sense of accomplishment. I could call myself a runner now, at least a recreational one. I don’t love running, but I love the way it makes me feel; as if I could do anything, as if I have control over my body.

This from the girl who was allowed to run half as many laps in gr. 5 gym because her teacher was tired of waiting for her to finish after everyone else.

Since then I’ve become a bit addicted to the feeling of running. My days are so much better when I run. I’ll never be a natural runner, it’s a struggle still for me to get to 5k. But it keeps me more fit and healthy, and most importantly happier. Alive. Present. Connected to my body.

11 things

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

I’m starting to really have to grasp at straws for these questions and I’m not entirely sure I’m loving this reverb10 thing. But, I committed… so here goes?

1. Excuses. I would like to give up on all the excuses I use in my life to keep myself from changing the things I am unhappy with. For instance, I went to the gym nearly everyday in November, and I don’t want to let excuses get in the way of continuing that. It makes me feel better, even if dragging my ass out of bed is hard.

2. Those People. Everyone has Those People in their lives that are supposed to be Friends but really make you feel like shit most of the time. I really need to rid my life of people who aren’t good for me.

3. Self doubt. I am a smart, capable person. I need to stop doubting that so much.

4. Facebook. Don’t worry, I’m not going to delete my Facebook. But I need to spend less time on it.

5. Waiting. For life to begin or to find something or someone.

6. Regrets. As a chronic overthinker, I spend a lot of time regretting things that I’ll never be able to change. I need to stop doing that.

7. Dealbreakers. I find myself trying not to “get into” things with people when they offhandedly say something I don’t agree with. Like people who use “gay” or “retarded” in sentences. I need to speak up for what I believe in. Those things are dealbreakers for me. I used to be so good at standing up for myself but I lost it somewhere trying to keep everyone happy.

8. Laziness. The occasional lazy day is awesome, but I want to have more energy in general for life.

9. Comparisons. Comparing myself to everyone else. I really need to stop that. Particularly when I’m constantly surrounded by such amazing people. It’s easy to feel inadequate.

10. Getting my hopes up. This sounds depressing, but I’m not giving up on dreaming. I’m giving up on putting things on a pedestal and having such high expectations for things that I end up being disappointed when they don’t work out.

11. Drama. I always get involved because I care too much, but it’s hurt me so much in 2010 that I think I need to spend 2011 learning to take a step back from all the drama.

Wisdom

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest decision I made this year was to live in the moment.

Last year, I was paralyzed by the fear of what the hell I was going to do when I graduated. Of not having a Plan.

Eleni replied to that post with an Avenue Q quote:

Maybe you just have to concentrate on the “only for now”, frustrating (and frightening) as that may be.

And eventually, I learned how to do it. I abandoned the 2am job searches and future anxiety. I let myself live in the moment, enjoy the trips I was taking, the things I was learning and everything that I was experiencing. And I’m so glad I did, because it was over so fast and now, even though a lot of my fears from 2009 have come true (unemployment, debt, etc), at least I know that I really lived last year.

And when I get especially anxious, I listen to that song.

Nothing lasts, life goes on. Full of surprises. You’ll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.