Left to luck

A puff of white flew past me on a late summer breeze. I caught it and plucked off the little seed, like when I was a kid. If you catch a dandelion seed, you get to make a wish. My wishes have always been intense feelings of need or want rather than a coherent sentence in my head. Need. Job. I gave the white fluff back to the wind and watched it drift away.

I’m not one to leave it up to luck. I’m not a lucky person, in the win-the-door-prize, pick-the-right-door, find-twenty-dollars kind of way. I never have been. So, I learned to control my life outside of luck and wishes and to make it impossible to fail.

I have always defined myself by my ambition. My thing has always been working, and working hard. I’ve had a job since I was 15. The only time I’ve actually been unemployed since then was this past year in Newcastle. It was common for me to have two jobs, plus school full time. For one very stressful month in 2007, I had three. My resumé, if all is included, is more than five pages long.

Needless to say, I don’t know how to be unemployed. This is the only time I’ve ever looked for a job while I didn’t already have one.

And I’m finding jobs. Not the job of my dreams, but well paying jobs that I am qualified for. And I rewrite and send off resumés and cover letters. Fill out applications. And I press send and I feel like I’m sending it off into this void and I just never know if I’ll ever hear about it again.

I sit at home watching TV and flinch a little every time the phone rings, hoping it will be for me and it will be a job interview. I interview well, I just need to get there. Need. Interview.

I go days without doing anything of significance. I’m driving myself crazy.

I need a career, too. But I can only worry about that, while I don’t have a job. Need. Direction.

So, since logic and my impressive (yes, I say so myself) resumé doesn’t work, I have no choice but to wish. To bargain with the powers that be (or don’t be) for a chance to at least make some money, if not to be happy.

What can you do with an MA in Archaeology? Pretty much nothing.

6 Comments

  • By Christine, September 22, 2010 @ 12:48 am

    “The world don’t need scholars as much as I thought.” - What do you do with an MA in English? Not pretty much nothing, literally nothing. Best of luck with the job/direction search. Hope to see you this weekend!!

  • By Eleni, September 22, 2010 @ 1:39 am

    Well then, good luck in the job hunt! It’s good that you interview well; I’m sure you’ll find something. And it doesn’t matter if the MA in archaeology doesn’t directly get you a job, as long as you’re happy with the experience :)

  • By Chandra, September 22, 2010 @ 9:05 am

    You will find a job! You always get what you are aiming for. And you are being so persistant that I’m SURE you will be employed soon. And then you’ll think “damn… I miss ‘Say Yes to the Dress’.” :P

  • By Lea, September 22, 2010 @ 11:12 am

    I have nothing but bad memories from being unemployed. Even between school and the army, I was restless, and after the army it was just awful. So I’m very sympathetic. Doing nothing is great… for a week, tops. Over time you start going slightly mad.

  • By Faebala, September 23, 2010 @ 12:25 am

    Why is there never a happy medium? This whole past year I found myself wishing I could be unemployed, but always knowing in the back of my mind I’d be bored in two days. <3 Love you. Wishing you luck from my unlucky end.

  • By Sebastian, October 2, 2010 @ 6:43 pm

    I would’ve thought that an MA in Archaeology is one of the few masters that you _can’t_ rely on luck to utilize.

    It’s so specialist that you need to track its uses down. You need to hunt for those special companies or foundations or museums that can use someone with your level of specialisation.

    You might stumble across it (or they you), but it’s unlikely. Gotta make your own luck.

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