Suitcases

My room is full of postcards, ticket stubs and brochures. A suitcase stuffed with travelling shoes and souvenirs.

I’m not really sure where I’m going from here.

And I feel like in just a few weeks I’ll be looking at these fragments of one of the best years of my life and trying to piece together a time when I was free.

When I saw my life packed into a suitcase again, I sat down and cried.

I don’t think it’s because I’m sad to leave. It’s because I’m sad that it’s over. I need to leave because by the end of the week there will be nothing here for me anymore. But I wish it were January again and all of that possibility and adventure still lay ahead.

Because that was good possibility.

The possibility I have now is also called uncertainty and I am not good at uncertainty.

6 Comments

  • By Sebastian, August 22, 2010 @ 11:49 pm

    Onwards and upwards!

    Hit the ground running. Find a job ASAP!

    If all else fails… you can always flee back to the UK, where I’m sure you will be looked after :)

  • By steph, August 23, 2010 @ 3:33 am

    tell me about it :( i know exactly how you feel… cept i think its good to stick out the uncertainty for a bit and figure ourselves out before making any rash decisions! cant wait to see you dude :)

  • By Shaun Mcalister, August 23, 2010 @ 6:30 am

    No one is meant to be good at uncertainty. Uncertainty is there to drive you towards getting what you want from life. And if that brings you back to the UK sometime down the road I would be very happy indeed :-) Gonna miss you!

  • By Faebala, August 24, 2010 @ 4:29 am

    Fall all around me on a hotel floor. <3

  • By Eleni, August 24, 2010 @ 11:09 am

    You’ve had an awesome year with so many adventures, it’s a shame it can’t always be that way (it’s certainly been fun to read about here!). This verse sort of came to mind:
    Oh if life were made of moments
    Even now and then a bad one
    But if life were only moments
    Then you’d never know you had one.

    So it’s not a perfect parallel to the Baker’s Wife’s situation (though you might as well watch out for giants on your way back), but you see what I’m getting at. Even if the next year doesn’t have the amazing travels and sights that this year had, it may still be fulfilling and exciting in new ways :)

  • By Luke, August 26, 2010 @ 1:31 am

    I understand you completely… I’ve been home a month and nothing has become certain…I find myself wishing for January again, too, when at least some things in life were certain.

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