Far away

She’s packed up her bags, she’s heading out
She says, “I know that I’m ready,”
With such beautiful doubt.

Here’s where I wax poetic about distances and the spaces between. With a few steps, a car ride, a transatlantic flight, I leave behind the place I have lived for 22 years. I leave behind what I thought I knew for something I want to know. I exchange dollars for pounds, boxes for suitcases. I exchange endings for beginnings, the minute the plane leaves the ground.

My suitcases are too heavy to lift comfortably. No doubt I’ll struggle to pull them off the baggage claim, and someone will have to help me before I either fall over or knock someone out. My head is a storm of conflicting worry and excitement. No doubt I’ll hesitate at the gate, doubt myself and my plans.

The feeling of anticipation has been keeping me awake. I haven’t slept more than the bare minimum in two weeks. There’s too much to do, too much to think about.

And when I take my seat on the airplane, I’ll lean back and daydream as the plane lifts off. I’ll feel all of the doubt and worry fade away and leave behind only the excitement. With my headphones on, I’ll give my journey a soundtrack to be proud of. Leaving songs. Love songs. Life.

And by tomorrow I’ll be in England. And cold.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

6 Comments

  • By Faebala, September 4, 2009 @ 5:45 pm

    I love you and I miss you terribly already. But I thoroughly loved the voicemail you left me, even though I wish I hadn’t been working and could’ve picked up to ACTUALLY talk to you. But at least now I have it to listen to. :)

  • By Sebastian, September 4, 2009 @ 9:22 pm

    It’s not THAT cold!

    A bit blustery, but rather pleasant and fantastically fresh.

    … at least down South it is. Ahahaha.

    WELCOME TO BLIGHTY!

  • By Lindsay, September 4, 2009 @ 11:28 pm

    Wow. I can surely relate. It’s so exciting and terrifying to board that plane for a different sort of life. I wish you luck and luck and more luck :)

  • By Sheema, September 5, 2009 @ 8:23 pm

    Hi! I happened to find your blog through life-of-lisa.com, and I know that you are a fellow “pond jumper.” I just wanted to wish you good luck, I hope everything goes well and I will be following your blog to see your progress!

  • By Eleni, September 7, 2009 @ 12:26 am

    Yay, how exciting! Can’t believe your adventure is finally here! Good luck! Catch you on the other side.

  • By Lisa, September 12, 2009 @ 11:24 pm

    I know it’s late, but I just wanted to say how I am so excited for you…You are going to love every single minute of your time here in England!!

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