One month…

There’s this feeling in the pit of my stomach. A constant gnawing of excitement and fear. My head is in the clouds - rain clouds, this summer - full of scenes, acts and lines. And I play my part in my imagination. Girl meets life.

It keeps me up at night, like a kid on Christmas Eve, too full of anticipation to sleep. I lie on my stomach, hoping that if I sleep this way my stomach won’t remind me  as I try to distract my mind by listening to the steady rhythm of my heartbeat against my arm. It beats a countdown. 33…32…31…

One month, it says, ringing through my head, swirling my thoughts into a confusion of to do lists, bank drafts, airline tickets and new beginnings.

One month, my heart echoes. To say goodbyes, to share laughs, to eat at favourite restaurants. One month until I decorate a new apartment, explore a new city, meet new people, learn new things. Live.

One month until I leave behind everything I know. But one month until I get to start anew. How do you reconcile the opposite feelings?

http://gwarf.deviantart.com/art/Storm-76364795

4 Comments

  • By Eleni, August 5, 2009 @ 6:21 am

    Having just taken the plunge myself, I can concur that it is scary! Of course, I have family out here. It has helped that I’m not in entirely unfamiliar territory. But I have been noticing lately that it’s keeping me from starting totally fresh, which would be nice as well.

  • By Court, August 5, 2009 @ 6:57 pm

    The one unfortunate part about going to England is that you’ll still be confronted with tea on a daily basis…

  • By Lisa, August 8, 2009 @ 2:23 pm

    I am so excited for you! This month is going to fly by so fast..you’re gonna love England! :)

  • By Jes, August 10, 2009 @ 12:05 pm

    “One month until I leave behind everything I know. But one month until I get to start anew. How do you reconcile the opposite feelings?”

    Dive in headfirst, don’t say no to ANY opportunities and love every second!!

    And know that the people that love you are only an e-mail (or an ichat window :P ) away.

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