You think after 22 years I’d be used to the spin

I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head
Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread
Something tastes different, maybe it’s my tongue
Something tastes different, suddenly I’m not so young…

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I have a history of being very emo about my birthday. There’s just something about watching another year go by that makes you stop and think about what it’s been worth. In the sum of 365 days, 8760 hours, 525 600 minutes, have you done anything worthwhile?

On August 3rd, 1987, I was born with a red mohawk and bright blue eyes. I was so fair when I was little that people used to ask my mom, who has dark hair and green eyes, whose kid I was. I look like my dad and his side of the family - the Brits and Scots.

And now, twenty-two years later, I sit and think of all of the birthdays that have gone by. I have always been struck by the line from Long December by The Counting Crows, “A long December and it’s easy to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.”

As I stand on the brink of a completely new life, that rings more true than ever. But I’m weary. Because it’s thoughts like these that keep me so fixed in some mythical future, some better life that’s never quite there, and keep me from living in this moment, the today. This year.

It’s taken twenty-two years, but I think I can truly say that this year I am happy with what I’ve done, where I am and where I’m going. So no more birthday emo. Instead, photos of me - featuring my love of cake.

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A very intent blowing-out-the-candles face. Birthdays are serious stuff.

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An awesome 90s bathing suit, and this time it’s not me making the weird face!

scannedimage-18Not only is that an intense expression, but that is one HOT pink and blue baseball-style shirt.

4 Comments

  • By Lisa, August 3, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOO YOU!!!!!!!! Your photos are adorable! Your life is only going to get more and more exciting. Hope you have a special day! :)

  • By faebala, August 3, 2009 @ 5:26 pm

    You were, and still are, adorable. <3 Love you always. Happy birthday, melamin!

  • By Eleni, August 4, 2009 @ 5:03 am

    Happy birthday!!! (It’s still your birthday over here.) Is it a 90s bathing suit thing, or just a kid’s bathing suit thing? In any case, I had one just like it :-)

    Hope your coming year is exciting, fulfilling, and full of joy.

  • By Sebastian, August 11, 2009 @ 9:09 pm

    I have to say, it seems like you’ve done awfully well with your first 22 years, and you don’t have any reason to be emo!

    I hope your 23rd is your best yet!

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