When the woo grows up

In my opinion, How I Met Your Mother is the best sitcom on TV. It has taught us many valuable lessons such as the Bro Code, the Crazy/Hot scale and the Lemon Law. And this season, it brought us the term “Woo Girls.”

robin-and-the-woo-girls

(I tried to find a video but failed miserably, sorry pets!)

Woo Girls, according to Barney Stinson, are those girls who wear cowboy hats to bars, do shooters, call each other “slut,” and yell “Woo!” when when a song they know comes on (usually by Lynyrd Skynyrd.)

woo-girl

Woo Girls are always 20-somethings, maybe 30-somethings. But what happens when the Woo Girls grow up?

They join Mary Kay and try to sell you cosmetics.

mary-kay

My mom dragged me to a “free makeover” by a Mary Kay consultant last night. Okay, maybe dragged isn’t the best term. Mention the word free and I’m there. Unfortunately, we were headed to a Mary Kay consultant meeting, at which they would talk each other up and do our makeovers sort of as a party trick.

“So, ladies, you get one entry into the draw for every friend you bring. So if you bring 5 friends, you get how many entries?”
“Five!”
“And that’s how many chances to win?”
“Five!”

And then they proceeded to “Woo!” at each other while they talked about how much money they’d made that week. Now, I will Woo in the appropriate scenario. After all, I’m a single, twentysomething bar go-er and oft-drunk. I will Woo if the band plays Third Eye Blind or Greenday and WOOO extra loud if they play the Beatles. But I will not Woo sober. And I will certainly not Woo about the selling of cosmetics.

At the beginning they handed us a mini survey. “Do you want us to contact your spouse to give him gift ideas?” Answers: “Yes, he would love the help!” “No, he usually picks out something himself.” I circled all of the “he” and “himself”s and the word “spouse” and wrote in big letters: “So this is only for married straight people?” right across it.

The information package you get at the end is all about why you should start your own Mary Kay business. You see, as a woman you shouldn’t work outside of the home. Just think of the money you’ll have to pay in child care, nevermind the neglect and suffering of your children. But it’s a modern world, you should be earning money for your husband to spend. So the Mary Kay way is perfect! You can be a Supermom, never leave the house and only speak to women and children! Because you’re not fit for the outside world.

…Woo!

10 Comments

  • By Faebala, June 23, 2009 @ 9:14 am

    Brandi did Mary Kay for awhile. I loved their products, because I got them from her, but she wasn’t into the party throwing so she sold to people she knew and then decided to give it up, and kept all the free products they gave her, hahah.

    Their face wash is incredible, just for the record. I used to use it, but then I was too poor to buy it anymore and didn’t want to buy it from someone not Brandi. But it was amazing stuff.

    And I see you’re not denying your feminist self anymore, haha.

  • By Jes, June 23, 2009 @ 11:41 am

    Jessica Valenti would be proud, my friend. And kudos for calling them out on their ‘traditional marriage’ bullshit!!

  • By Laura, June 23, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

    fabulous! the inner feminist breaks free! you are now a superior woman- because you believe that YOU as a WOMAN matter. I love that. Mary Kay is such shit. I went to a make over for a wedding, and the woman asked me three hundred times why I didn’t wear make up and insisted that I should. I finally shouted at her: “I DON’T NEED TO WEAR MAKE UP! I AM NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL!” and really, who can argue with that? ;)

    ps I am so sorry you had to go through that- but I am so happy with the end result! An angry, feminist rant on the blog. I am so proud.

  • By Eleni, June 23, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

    Yes! HIMYM is the best sitcom on TV. I actually haven’t seen seasons 2 or 3, which is sad (I’ll have to catch up on them eventually). All the characters are great, and I’m kind of in love with Ted (I’m thinking maybe I should go to New York and enroll in an architecture course…)

    Anyway, yeah, cosmetics are definitely not worth a woo. I’ve thought about trying some light makeup, but for now there’s really no one I’m trying to impress and I’m just too darn lazy for it anyway. I love how you filled out their survey. You tell ‘em!

  • By The Chris, June 23, 2009 @ 3:50 pm

    I heard this story on the phone and it is even funnier the second time around! WOO!

  • By Lea, June 23, 2009 @ 3:58 pm

    Woo!

  • By Sebastian, June 23, 2009 @ 9:33 pm

    *scrawls ‘MILITANT FEMINIST’ across the top of of the page and turns over*

  • By Court, June 23, 2009 @ 11:04 pm

    Woo! is my very favourite episode of HIMYM!! We saw some real live woo girls in the DR this winter, they even did karaoke to Sweet Home Alabama, wooing when they forgot the words!

    Props on the amazing smack down of heteronormativity! What I wouldn’t give to see the faces of whoever collected those surveys!

    For me, being a feminist is all about believing that women can do everything, that women should have the option to do anything without being held back. It sucks that men and women don’t yet have equal job opportunities in all situations, but that’s a reality.

    As a feminist, I’ll fight tooth and nail to defend a woman’s right to work full time and leave her kids in childcare (or not have kids at all). I don’t see why this shouldn’t extend to women who choose to stay home with their kids. Sadly, there isn’t always a lot of support for stay-at-home moms in most companies– but working for someone like Mary Kay gives women a way to make money, boost their confidence, and support their families in the way that they’ve chosen for themselves. How is that not empowering?

    As far as I’m concerned, a Mary Kay consultant isn’t all that different from any other business owner. They just get better benefits, more flexible hours, and a sense of community with other successful women (although their product is probably tackier!). And I’m sure most of their husbands are supportive of that. Stereotyping men can have the same effect as stereotyping women.

    We’re lucky enough to live in a time and place where there’s more than one acceptable way for a woman to live her life.

  • By Hezabelle, June 24, 2009 @ 8:11 am

    Oh, I definitely agree with the starting a business thing, Mary Kay or otherwise. People do really well as consultants. It was only the tone of the pamphlet that annoyed me, which was pretty much as I had imitated. It was all so… patriarchal. Not so much about what they were saying as HOW they were saying it.

  • By Court, June 24, 2009 @ 9:06 am

    Phew, I figured it wasn’t quite like you to think that!

    Seriously, we need to write these Mary Kay execs and get them to re-write their material. That’s appalling!!

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