Hez and Fae Rewind Moment #3

One fine summer, Fae and I ventured down Virginia to meet up with Ali, another RPG friend of ours we’d know since about the same time we met. Fae’d met her before, but I hadn’t. Fae’s mom drove us down to meet Ali half way. While we were driving, I fell asleep with my head against the window in the back (which I do a lot in cars because I get horrible motion sickness). I was sleeping peacefully when suddenly… the window opened and I was almost thrown from the car. I screamed and sat up, shocked.

Fae looked over at me, startled. Then she looked down at her foot, on the window button. And laughed. She tried to kill me!

We went to Staunton, Virginia to stay with Ali. But she lived in Res, and there wasn’t enough room for three of us. So we stayed on the futon at her friends Stina and Dylan’s apartment. The apartment was on the third floor, there was an elevator. We went back one night to watch a movie. We got into the elevator, pressed the 3 button, went up to the floor. It was one of those old elevators with the grate that you have pull shut before it will move. So we go to open this grate… and it’s stuck.
“Oh right, I forgot that this elevator always gets stuck,” Ali says. Meanwhile I’m holding a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, rapidly melting.

So of course I made a video. A very ADD video.

“This is our elevator stuck… Stuck in an elevator video.” - Hez

“What do you think about being stuck in an elevator?” -Hez
“I think I have to pee.” - Fae
“Me too.” - Hez
“Yeah, me too.” - Ali

We eventually got out of the elevator, rescued by a guy who lived in the building. Then, of course, we didn’t have the key for the apartment. So I had to eat my Ben and Jerry’s with the smallest spoon in the world, that we found in the bottom of Ali’s purse.

Cleveland rocks?

Fae and I decided it would be a nice idea to go to Cleveland, to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the zoo. Cleveland’s less than two hours away from where Fae lives, but I thought it would be nice for us to get a hotel and stay overnight. Especially since it was going to be free (or nearly) with my AirMiles. So we booked the hotel (which of course wasn’t actually free… that’s the way these things work, right?) and headed down yesterday.

We should’ve known things were going to go wrong, because my GPS suddenly stopped working on the way out of Pittsburgh and we ended up driving in circles in downtown Pittsburgh trying to get the stupid thing to “recalculate route.”

When we left Pittsburgh it was yet another gorgeous sunny, warm day. About 26 degrees (Celsius). So of course Fae and I only packed sundresses. We actually both almost packed jeans but changed our mind last minute and didn’t. By the time we go to Cleveland, it was raining and 11 degrees. What the hell? We were very poorly dressed, obviously. We parked and ran into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, stepping in puddles with flip flops and covering our heads with our very small sweaters.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was pretty awesome - I hadn’t been there since I was about 8, and I definitely appreciated it a lot more this time. We stayed a few hours, then we decided to check into the hotel and just hang out a bit in the warmth before we went for dinner. This is when I discovered that while I had brought my laptop, as planned, I had forgotten the power cord. It was charged about 70%, but that’s only about 3 hours of usage. We had brought movies to watch in the hotel! Damn.

We watched How I Met Your Mother for a bit, and then headed out for dinner. We were staying pretty far from the city, out by the airport. But we had a GPS, so it’s okay, right? Unless, of course, you’re us. The stupid thing kept losing signal in the middle of Cleveland, leaving us to try to navigate our own way through what apparently was baseball game traffic. They had traffic cops directing things, but I have no idea what they were doing… they were making us go through red lights! Finally, we found a place to park. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe, ordered strawberry daquiris and hoped it would at least be a good dinner.

Apparently the Hard Rock Cafe is a huge rip off… Our drinks were $6.99 each and didn’t even taste like they had alcohol in them. Our sandwiches were about $12.99 and while they were HUGE they weren’t all that great.

Normally, upon visiting a new city, we would walk around and check it out. It was too bloody cold and still raining. So we decided we would try to go see and movie. We asked the waitress and found out there was a theatre in the same plaza, in the basement. We paid and left and took the elevator downstairs… to the sketchiest plaza basement I’ve ever been to. Only to find out that while they were playing about a dozen movies, they were all the movies we didn’t want to see and none of the ones we did want to see (we were thinking Adventureland or Sunshine Cleaning). So that failed too.

In the elevator on the way back up I turned to Fae.
“Why do we always fail?” I asked. We laughed and decided that we would just order payperview back at the hotel and stay warm in bed. We got back to the hotel and decided that the pool looked very enticing, so we got back in the car to go into the weird Cleveland suburb to find a cheap place to buy a bathing suit. The guy at the front desk had given us directions to a Walmart. The last part was “Go down and turn right down Brooksomething, there’s a Walmart at the end of that road.” He said the real name, but neither of us could remember so we decided that it wouldn’t be that hard to find the street that was Brooksomething. We turn and find… Brookhaven, Brookdale, Meadowbrook and Brookshire. All right next to each other. Hmm.

Needless to say, we didn’t find the Walmart, but we kept going down the street and eventually found another store and bought some bathing suits, which were quite expensive for suits neither of us planned to ever wear again.

We got back to the hotel, went swimming for about 30 minutes, until we suffocated from the heat of the hot tub, and then went back up to our room to order payperview. Fae took a shower, and I tried to figure out the payperview. After about 45 minutes of trying to work it, and then seeing if maybe there was something on real TV to watch, I called the front desk.

“Hi, I can’t seem to get the Payperview to work.”
“Yeah, the company we got Payperview from just recently shut down. So we don’t have Payperview right now.”
“Oh…. Okay then, bye.”

Again, we tried to find something on TV. Largely, we failed. Until we found Whose Line Is It Anyway, and excitedly tried to tune to that channel… only to find out that we didn’t get that channel.

We woke up this morning with plans to go to the Zoo, but they were very quickly dampened by the cold and the rain. We ate our continental breakfast and left Cleveland behind forever, after having failed at everything.

Top Ten Reasons to Love a Geeky Girl

So, this is a list that I sent to Seb to help with his newest post. Almost all of my friends are geek girls, and I think it’s time that people realize we’re awesome - the ones who speak Elvish (Fae), those who speak binary (Kaitlyn), the gamers (there are too many I can’t name you all!) and the role players (me, of course). With movies like Superbad and Sydney White, there’s a sudden increase in the love of nerdy guys. But there are so many geek chicks out there too, and we need our recognition!

1. Smart is sexy. There’s a reason Sexy Librarian is one of the top Halloween costumes every year. Because there’s something mysteriously sexy about what lies behind those thick rimmed glasses and beneath that cardigan. Smart girls are sexy because they’re not expected to be sexy. They’re a nice surprise – a reason to look up from your studying, even to pay your library fines.

2. She can probably beat your high score/redesign your blog/do your math homework/has a better comic book collection than you. A real man loves a challenge. And what’s more challenging than a woman who not only shares your interests, but even beats you at them? You have a lot to learn from a geeky girl. She can beat you at Star Wars trivia, you two can spend the afternoon in her favourite multiplayer or she can entertain you with fun historical facts. And just think – together you can probably fix anything. Or take over the world.

3. You speak the same language. You don’t have to bother yourself with explaining acronyms or characters, because she already knows what it means. Whether html, Latin, binary, computer specs or WoW, to your geeky girl it’s the language of love.

4. She’s not clingy. A geeky girl isn’t as clingy as the average girl. She has her own commitments, her own WoW character, her own convention buddies and her own programming to do. She’s happy to spend time with you, but she doesn’t need you to be available 24/7. Which is great, because you have your own geekery to tend to, and these things take time.

5. Won’t hate you for going to a LAN conference/comic book convention and will probably come with you. That’s right, you could be that guy who brings the girl. Worshipped as a God, you’re the nerd who gets some at the conference or convention. You’re the dude with arm candy. And you didn’t even have to pay her.

6. Will gladly dress up as the Princess Zelda to your Link for Halloween (or Harley Quinn to Joker, Mrs. Lovett to Sweeney Todd, Princess Leia to your Han Solo, Cleopatra to your Caesar.) There’s nothing better than pair’s costumes. Remember how lonely it was to go solo as Solo? Remember last Halloween they laughed at your elf ears? That’s solved by bringing your very own sexy geek counterpart!

7. Willing to role play. In and out of the bedroom. Enough said.

8. Your favourite activities are now sexy activities. Imagine adding sex to all your favourite nerd pastimes! This is now possible, with your nerdy girlfriend. Multiplayer? Check. Wii Fit? Definitely check.

9. She’ll settle for being serenaded with Rock Band instruments instead of real ones. Because she’s geeky, all of your geeky ideas of romance will have her swooning. What better way to say Happy Valentines than with a new website design? Or Happy Birthday with tickets to the opening night of Wolverine? Nothing says Merry Christmas like battling the forces of evil together.

10. She’s looking for you. Above all, the best thing about a geeky girl is that she’s probably looking for a geeky guy. After trying her hand at dating jocks and jerks, she’s probably looking for someone who’s actually interesting and who’s interested in her. For once, your chances increase directly with your nerdiness. You can impress her with your geekery.

Mythology Mondays: A friend to mankind

Prometheus is a Titan, the son of Atlas. Now, the Titans don’t really like the Olympians much, being that Zeus and his siblings sort of stole their power from them. Prometheus, however, is a special case.

In some accounts, it was Prometheus who created mankind out of mud. But Prometheus is best known for his gift to man - essentially the gift of civilization.

Prometheus tricked Zeus. On the event of the first sacrifice to the Gods, Prometheus divided the animal into two portions and wrapped each in cloth. In one portion was the bones and fat, all of the inedible parts of the animal. In the other portion was the meat. Prometheus spoke to Zeus on behalf of mankind. He bade Zeus to choose which portion he would take for himself. Zeus, of course, chose the larger bundle. Prometheus had made sure that the sack of bones and fat was larger. This set the precedence for all divine sacrifices - humans would feast on the meat and leave the bones for the Gods.

Out of anger, the Olympians kept the power of fire to themselves, to forge Zeus’ lightening bolts, to light Helios’ sun chariot. But Prometheus conspired to steal it back.

Prometheus begged admittance to Mount Olympus. He climbed to the heavens where he could reach Helios’ chariot. He lit a torch on the flame of the sun and hurried back to Earth, where he gave fire to mankind. Hesiod says that with fire, humans were finally able to take the first steps towards civilization. That Prometheus gave man the means of life.

Prometheus’ punishment is renowned. He was chained to a rock on the top of a mountain. Every day an eagle would swoop down and gnaw out his liver. Every night the liver would grow back, and Prometheus would have to suffer again the next day. He remained here through ages of mankind, until finally Heracles freed him.

For boons bestowed
On mortal men I am straitened in these bonds.
I sought the fount of fire in hollow reed
Hid privily, a measureless resource
For man, and mighty teacher of all arts.
This is the crime that I must expiate
Hung here in chains, nailed ‘neath the open sky.

-Aeschylus’ Prometheus Bound

Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus, was the husband of Pandora. Prometheus’ daughter was Pyrrha, the wife of Deucalion and the only woman to survive the Flood.

Not so there

Fae appears to have noticed something about me in the past few days that no one else has noticed before… or maybe they were just too nice to comment about it.

Apparently, I have mentally challenged moments. This doesn’t come as a huge shock to me, my dad has long called me the stupidest smart person he knows. This is because I generally live in my head, and I tend to zone out. I also tend to mess up on the small, stupid things in life because I’m too busy thinking about bigger things. Or at least, I like to think that’s my excuse for being stupid.

This isn’t a new revelation, Fae once looked back in the car and saw me just grinning absently out the window. Since in her family people don’t smile, she was shocked.

And then there was the night with the Fanta. Where I just couldn’t get it in my head that the pop machine wasn’t working in the hostel.

Then, the other night we went to the movie store with Fae’s boyfriend and roommate. When I get out the car I suddenly realize that Fae’s looking at me funny.

We go inside. I’m walking around, looking at the movies. Suddenly, Fae turns around and starts laughing at me.

Apparently I was actually walking around, twirling my hair with my finger with this blank smile on my face. Fae was hysterical. Apparently I’d had the exact same blank expression when I got out of the car earlier.

We have since come to the conclusion that I have mentally challenged moments. And it makes so much sense. I also sometimes rock back and forth in circles when I’m sitting down, without realizing it.

I swear I’m really a smart person….