why can’t I begin again?

One exam down, two to go. I think I kicked Greek and Roman Lit ass, personally. Hopefully I did, since it was worth 50% of my mark.

I also randomly got a phone call today from the Toronto Star. I had applied to be one of their photographers back in November. Which I didn’t get. But now they want me to interview for a job as one of the Photo Editors. Basically, he explained, exactly like my job at the Charlatan but on a larger scale.

The problem? I already have a summer job that I’m really excited about. In Ottawa. That pays $14/hour. That means financial security for next year. Toronto Star would pay $9.50/hour ish. And I would have to move to Toronto for the summer, which would mean spending nearly everything I made. Which would definitely change my plans. But… but… it’s the TORONTO STAR! I mean… it would basically guarantee me any photo job I wanted when I graduated.

So it’s this huge dilemna. Of course, I have to interview for the job first. So I guess I’ll go to Toronto sometime this month for the interview. And then see what happens? It would be such a hard choice to make.

Sometimes life really surprises you, eh?

I thought when Fae and I took this challenge, to think positively about our lives and see the effects.. I thought for sure it wouldn’t make a difference. And definitely wouldn’t work. But now I’m not so sure. I mean, it’s hard every day. But… somehow I feel like a puzzle who’s pieces are starting to fit together again. I’m hopeful for everything coming up.

I hope I’m not cursing myself and speaking too soon. But I feel this is good. For both of us.

And it was raining cats and dogs outside of her window
And she knew they’d be destined to become sacred road kill on the way
And she was listening to the sound of heaven shaking
Thinking about puddles.. puddles and mistakes…

2 Comments

  • By konfusedfae, April 12, 2008 @ 10:29 am

    I agree, baby girl. Even with the bad days in between… I feel like they’re a little easier to get through, when you know that there’s a better mood in the future. Though this is still a really hard challenge to do. Breaking 21 years of bad habits for me.

    But I’m keeping the faith in our OLAY. <3 I love you. And I'm so excited for this for you!!

    I think you should take it.

  • By Christine, April 13, 2008 @ 2:58 pm

    Interview for sure. (And if you get it, take it!)

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