a toast…

To all the ones who hated me the most, a toast. You really had me going for second.

I’m jealous. I’ll admit it. I’m jealous of my friends from high school living in Europe right now (my work visa expires soon…). I’m jealous of the people who actually get what they want, sometimes. I’m jealous of the people who get to screw me over and still live their happy lives. I’m jealous of anything that’s free.

I’m also jealous of the bird that flies and the fish that swims. But no matter how much I wish it, I’ll never be them either.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from being me it’s to never give someone else the power to control my getting what I want. Because I’ll always lose. Whatever I do get, I fight for tooth and nail.

Am I the poster girl for some suburban sickness? Better keep a healthy distance.

1 Comment

  • By konfusedfae, March 7, 2008 @ 12:59 am

    I hate them too.

    But most of all, I hate that you are never given the beauty and love and happiness in life you so deserve. But I know, I KNOW, that you will find it one day.

    And when you do, it will be more than what those ones who envy even have a glimps of. Because you have the richest heart I know.

    You’ll find the kind of love we create in our stories. <3 I promise it’s coming to you, even if I have to take matters into my own hands and spend my life searching for it for you.

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